


You alone?

by PR_theBee



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Drunk Jongin, Drunk Sex, Grinding, Kissing, Loneliness, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Sadness, Smut, This Is Sad, a lot of - Freeform, and, like a lot of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 13:19:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13077705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PR_theBee/pseuds/PR_theBee
Summary: "You alone?""In more ways than you think"(Or Jongin is lonely on a Friday night and Kyungsoo is the handsome stranger that makes him feel loved for the first time in a while.)





	You alone?

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out the only way I have to cope with everything that is going on is to write sad things.  
> This is something 100% self-indulgent, and something I just wanted to wirte  
> This work contains smut, please be careful before you read it

“You alone?”

And Jongin wants to laugh at the horrible approach, wants to swallow the cringe-worthy flirting as fast as he has swallowed the last five drinks. But it’s too true. Too real. Because he is alone. But in more ways than the stranger sitting right next to him, probably wrongly encouraged by Jongin’s drunk smile, thinks. Because Jongin really has no one to come back to, has no one that worries about him. Has no one that texts him to ask if he is okay or if he wants to hang out. His phone has been empty of contacts for longer than he can actually remember, hell, he doesn’t even know the sound it makes to alert him of someone calling. Has no one that shares his blood that could actually wonder about his well-being. No one that knows him enough to actually wonder if he is still breathing. He is alone.

His mind takes him back to the last time someone had called him. It was his last boss, just to tell him that he was fired and that he should go pick his things up. Or maybe it was the last landlord before kicking him out for not paying rent? Whatever, Jongin drowns his drink and sets it too forcefully on the table.  
He looks at the stranger. He is definitely shorter than Jongin, if the fact that his feet barely reach the floor is any indication, but he looks sturdier, stronger, like he could break something in half. The poor lighting of the club makes his skin look paler, almost shiny. It contrasts prettily with the way Jongin's skin looks darker under the same lamps. He has a nice face, lips far too plump and big eyes with strong and dark eyebrows. His hair ’s short, like he shaved it no more than three weeks ago.

He looked as alone as Jongin, maybe even more so.

Jongin smiled.

“In more ways than you think”

The older snorts and orders some drink Jongin can’t pronounce the name of, it sounded expensive, fruity. Something Jongin probably didn’t deserve. He accepts none the less.

“So mysterious”

“Mystery makes everything more interesting”

Jongin smiles around the glass. The beverage is strong, alcohol shutting almost all of his senses. But it leaves a sugary aftertaste. It makes Jongin want to drown in it. It’s pink and stupidly decorated with strawberries cut so they fit the rim. Jongin has never seen anything like it, but then again he most likely can’t purchase it. The stranger smiles back at him, his lips make a heart when he does it, notes Jongin. And maybe it’s the, probably borderline deathly, amount of alcohol in his veins, but he finds it endearing.

“Well, mister Mysterious, why are you alone on a Friday night?”

He takes another gulp, and he is definitely getting too used to alcohol, because he can’t really taste the initial bitterness anymore. The stranger also drinks silently, smirk never leaving his face. It reminds Jongin of when he still went to school. Of how his friends, now turned into strangers that knew less about him than the man sitting right next to him, used to drink carelessly, all big smiles and smirks before the bitter taste of beer whipped them out. Jongin wonders if the stranger next to him is truly aware of what could leave Jongin's mouth just to answer that question.

Because what was better?

I am alone because I literally only have money to pay for cheap booze drinks?

I am alone because my last friend was a cactus that died in a week?

He finishes the drink quickly, having waited too much. The stranger hasn’t finished his.

“Do you really want to know?”

That silly smirk again. It should look bizarre, because the stranger looks so young, like he could actually be younger than Jongin. The sultry look and the knowing smirk should make him look like some twisted and oversexualized kid. But it doesn’t, it makes him even more handsome, it makes his face rounder, cheekbones puffier, lips delectably stretched over perfect white teeth. Jongin wonders if that’s how stable people look like. Wonders if this stranger really knows what he is getting himself into. Because Jongin knows he looks like a mess, all long limbs and wrinkly clothes. But somehow, under the tricky lightning and over the loud music, he had attracted this handsome stranger. Jongin definitely knows this is not how stable people are like.

“Depends”

“On what?”

“The place where you tell me”

Jongin smiles again. He normally would have left by now. Would have swallowed the drink as fast as he could, then smile politely and decline the offer. It was like a dance he knew by heart, lead them on, get a free drink, leave. It works with everyone, from old rich guys to teenage girls. But something about the way the stranger looks bigger than him despite being definitely smaller, something about the low gravel in his voice, that makes Jongin shiver, something about the way his eyes follow every movement of Jongin’s throat as he swallowed the ridiculous pink drink, and a whole bunch of other things, that make the stranger weirdly endearing, make Jongin stay.

“What are the options, hm?”

“Well…either this dirty and sticky bar stool or my nice and warm house”

Jongin laughs out loud at that, the stranger smiling with him. His eyes water slightly. He is too drunk, had too many drinks. He is too alone and unsafe to let himself tag along some random guy he met in the club. There are sirens blaring in his head, but they could also be the loud music echoing in his drunk mind. He faces the stranger completely and stands up, the world only spinning slightly. The handsome stranger does the same, smiling altogether. Now he can finally see just how much taller he is, the guy has to look up at him, but he is much broader, chest strong and shoulders wide. Jongin feels too fragile in comparison, arms and legs thin and shoulders narrow for lack of meals. He takes pity on the guy, he doesn’t know what he is getting himself into. But then again is not like Jongin was going to let him know what he truly was like. He smiles.

“The name is Kim Jongin, and I take your nice and warm house”

“well then, the name is Do Kyungsoo, and you need to take my nice and warm car first”

The way to the car is giggly and full of whispers. Kyungsoo lets Jongin rest on him, not even stumbling when he carelessly puts all of his weigh on the other guy. Now that they are outside, Jongin can see Kyungsoo more clearly. He is wearing a well-fitted t-shirt that make his arms and stomach look muscly, it feels soft under Jongin’s fingertips and he can’t help but twist it and squeeze it in his hold, now Kyungsoo looks more like him. The other gasps and laughs.  
He is even more handsome under the street lights, with the cold wind making everything sharper. His skin looks spotless and he has the longest eyelashes Jongin has seen on anyone. There’s a warm and slightly callused hand supporting him and tracing small patterns in the small of his back, under the white, now grey, dress shirt Jongin is wearing. Jongin wonders once again why Kyungsoo had decided to take him home.

And he realizes that it’s what guys like Kyungsoo might be into. Because he has seen the Rolex on the other’s wrist. Has seen the voluminous wallet he paid their drinks with. Those pants probably cost more than anything Jongin owns. It makes something ugly twist in Jongin’s stomach, and he can’t decipher if it is disgust or jealousy. But the hand on the small of his back makes its way over Jongin’s butt and squeezes a cheek softly. Jongin giggles some more and bats it away.

He actually wonders why he agreed on letting Kyungsoo take him to his house. And deep down he knows he can’t blame it on the alcohol, because he does not get silly drunk, he can actually stand his booze. Alcohol only makes him bolder, surer. He knows he agreed because he needs it. Because the run down new apartment that he got it’s too stuffy and crowded for him. Because the alarming prospect of having to find another job it’s too much to deal with alone. Because he is lonely and needs company.

“There, can you open it yourself, sunshine?”

Jongin snorts at the nickname and at the black BMW standing right in front of him.

“How much money do you have, Mister Do?”

“Are you looking to get paid, Mister Kim?”

“Nope, only assuring that the sheets will be silk”

Kyungsoo laughs at that and opens the door for the drivers seat, having moved around the car while talking with Jongin. He opens the door too, and sighs happily once seated. It had been so long since he had actually sat in such a nice car. All of his bone ached against the soft yet strong leather. Kyungsoo side eyes him, moving up and down his body. Jongin sighs again and puts on his seatbelt.

“May I ask what’s your age?”

“just turned 22 Mister Do, yours?”

“24, don’t call me Mister Do”

“Why did you want to know?”

“Just making sure, sunshine”

Jongin blushes at the silly nickname again. He almost does not realize the car starting to move. It settles on him slowly. How he is going home with a complete stranger. How he is probably going to have sex with said stranger. How he does it because he feels alone and desperate. How he also does it because he has nothing left to do. He smiles at himself, eyes stinging and chest constricting painfully. He feels like crying.

But isn’t Kyungsoo letting some random guy at a club go to his house? Isn’t Kyungsoo going to fuck some guy that looks two steps away from being homeless? Isn’t he going to share a bed and moans with someone that was literally drowning his sorrows in nothing but cheap booze?

And now he feels like laughing. Because despite how better off Kyungsoo might be, he surely is as stupid as Jongin.

He opens his eyes when he realizes he has closed them, and decides to indulge himself in the sight that is Do Kyungsoo driving. His arms bulge out nicely every time he twirls the wheel. His profile’s both soft and sharp, lips looking even more surreal. The neck of the shirt exposes protruding collarbones, and Jongin feels a sudden need of sinking his lips into them, of biting and marking them. Of making Kyungsoo gasp and whine.

“They are silk”

“Hm?”

“The sheets, they are silk”

“Of course”

Jongin giggles yet again, the drink in his blood making things easier. They stay quiet, the only sounds being those of the world outside the car. A world that looks asleep at three in the morning, but that's secretly buzzing with life. The window is cold against Jongin's hair, and his breath is slowly saturating against the glass. Street lights cast brief shadows over them. It's dark, a type of darkness that would normally make him feel scared, lost, hollow. The night carries bad memories, carries the weight of going back home, where Jongin has nothing left to do but fall asleep and wish for the warm water to not be cut off, the debt was piling up. But it now makes him feel safe. Like the barely visible stars and half-lit moon are the only witnesses to his horrible decisions. In the darkness, the way Kyungsoo keeps looking at him out of the corner of his eye, plus the way Jongin positions himself to showcase the body he sometimes hates, is nothing but a secret. Nothing but a small occurrence inside of a car. And it's somehow relieving.

If he tries hard enough, Jongin can almost forget that he met the man barely half an hour ago, can make himself believe that he is something more than a hot piece of ass for the man right next to him. And it's a fantasy he often relies on. No matter who has decided to take him home, no matter who ends up kissing his lips, no matter who he goes on his knees for. Jongin always imagines a world where they had known each other, a world where the other person loved him and cared about him. A world where they wanted Jongin for more than a good fuck. A world where he could stay the night, and there was no walk of shame, no way home. Because he was already home.

Sometimes it hurts, mostly when he finds himself under the same dark sky that now hovers over him, nothing but some hickeys and a slight limb to remind him of what happened. He dares look back again at Kyungsoo, eyes on the road and arms tensed. If Jongin was another type of person, he would have started another conversation. Would have made the flirting dirtier, more direct. Would have asked Kyungsoo more questions, about his life, about his preferences. But Jongin is still Jongin no matter how many sorrows he drowns under bitter drinks. So he just stares, secretly enjoying the way the other's face looks under the night sky.

"What are you thinking about sunshine?"

"You" he says, ignoring the way the nickname makes him feel, and because it's what Kyungsoo probably wants to hear. Because everyone enjoys having the power of invading someone else's thoughts. They stop at a red light and Kyungsoo looks at him, an unconvinced look in his eyes. He is smiling, but it's unbelieving, like he is able to read Jongin’s head and know that he is lying.

"Am I really the reason for that sour look on your face?" Jongin swallows, feeling too exposed, like Kyungsoo can see too deep into his mental battles. The other surprises him on the interest he shows, He composes himself, throwing a sly smile towards the older, eyes hiding under his lashes.

"Yes"

"Why?"

Because I'm using you to make myself feel loved. Because deep down I know I'm nothing but some cute guy you are going to fuck until the sun comes out. Because this is a stupid decision made out of desperation and longing for someone to care about me. Because this is the only way I get to feel like I matter.

"Because you still haven't kissed me"

Kyungsoo chuckles, clearly unconvinced. Jongin fears for a second, will he ask further? Jongin doesn’t feel like opening his heart today, doesn’t feel like crying as if a Fawcett was opened by his loneliness by his need.

"Wait till we get to my warm and nice house, pretty boy"

The red light turns green and the car starts moving. But for Jongin the world has stopped spinning, he lets himself enjoy the compliment some more.

Jongin loves kissing, loves it. Enjoys leaving someone breathless after an intense make-out session. Loves having someone writhing under him just from the touch of his lips. And he also loves letting go under someone, loves how some people make him plead, beg for a kiss, and how some just give it to him, leaving him gasping for a breath.

But no one, Jongin notes, has kissed him quite like Kyungsoo.

The moment they enter the other’s house, he gets pushed against the door, hands already rummaging under his shirt, a thigh moved between his own, pushing and rubbing at his crotch. Then the kissing begins; Is a little bit awkward at first, the height difference is palpable, extremely noticeable. Jongin has to bend his neck at an awkward angle to get those lips were he wants them, melting against his own. Kyungsoo keeps palming his stomach, moving to rub his fingers against his prominent hips, moves up and finds a nipple, and applies delicious pressure that has Jongin’s mind reeling and stumbling. The younger can do nothing but circle his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck, pushing him closer. One of his hands moves to feel the rash texture of grown shaved hair under his fingertips, the other cupping Kyungsoo’s jaw. A rather sharp tug against both his nipples has Jongin arching forward, his back moving almost feline-like, his neck bared.

Kyungsoo kisses him with all of his being, like it was the last thing he could do. Kisses him with so much feeling, so much intention, it overwhelms Jongin, mutes his senses. Its shuts up his mind and that tiny voice that kept whispering about how worthless he was, for being so alone, for looking for love when he knew this was nothing but lust.

Suddenly, he is being lifted, and he almost screams at the sudden loss of contact with the floor. Kyungsoo smiles against his neck as Jongin’s arm surround his shoulders, holding on for dear life. The older’s hands are on his ass, crotches touching together, and the fear disappears with a moan. Jongin moves so his legs around Kyungsoo’s hips, feet safely tugging them close. The fact that the other is able to so swiftly hold all of his weigh leaves a contradictory taste in his mouth. It makes him feel small, a rush of blood that goes directly south at being manhandled so easily. But it’s also a painful reminder of the last proper meal he had, a week from now-

“You weigh close to nothing”

“Is that I compliment?”

“I feel like I want to feed you, like I have to take care of you”

Jongin chuckles at that. Kyungsoo looks so good, staring up at him despite being in complete control, his eyes are dark with desire but also…fondness. But Jongin shakes that image from his head, because it’s clearly his mind playing games on him once again. He starts kissing that handsome face, lips scratching against stubble, colliding with a firm jaw. He can’t see where they are going until he is being sat on a sofa, and he feels cold and confused, without Kyungsoo’s body to provide heat and a goal.

“Can I…Can I do it?”

Kyungsoo asks as he positions himself on his knees between Jongin's own. His hands are going up and down his thighs, feeling what’s probably the only muscle that has stayed with Jongin despite improper nutrition, and it’s every bit distracting. His hands move to stop them, and Kyungsoo interlaces their fingers over his pants, and it makes Jongin feel too many emotions under those dark eyes, emotions that he shouldn’t have for someone who he met an hour ago. Emotions that come from the need of contact, the need of love. Kyungsoo rest his head on top of his left knee, kissing it softly as he moves up, fingers tightening at the noises Jongin makes. His mind instantly goes for blowjob, but something is off. Jongin can tell.

“Do what?” He asks, almost breathless.

“Take care of you”

“And what does that entail?”

Kyungsoo stops kissing his thigh and stands up, sitting next to Jongin and signaling him to sit on his lap, he does just that. Positioning himself so his ass is sitting in the tent of Kyungsoo’s pants.

“First…” and there are hands under his shirt again, traveling up and down his back, touching every little knot of his spine, making Jongin shiver slightly, open mouth kissing Kyungsoo desperately, but the older pulls away “You are gonna take a hot warm shower…get all cleaned up so I can make you dirty”

Jongin moans at that, at the mere thought of what “making him dirty” might be, what Kyungsoo wants to do to make his body, his skin, worthy of another shower. He also moans at the memories of warm water on his skin, falling down his body. It’s been nothing but cold showers since the heater broke. Icy and numb, making his whole body ache displeasingly. A dark part of his brain tells him that this is Kyungsoo’s way of saying that he stinks, of saying that the sweat and dirt from the construction site he has been kicked out of are still lingering on his body despite the shower he took before going to the club. He shuts it up in favor of curving his back and grinding his hard-on against Kyungsoo’s thigh. Because it’s easier than dwelling on his self-hate.

The latter smiles at him, and Jongin can feel how knowing it is, it comes in waves from the other's body. But he is too busy with feeling the way Kyungsoo mouths at his neck, sucks and bites at it, so it’s almost too hard to actually hear him speak again.

“Secondly. I’m gonna make you come so hard, you’ll forget your name” he capitalizes that statement against the skin of Jongin’s collarbones, who can do nothing but shake and moan over him. It’s been a while since he has felt like this, needy and compliant, like he wants Kyungsoo to never stop touching him, it’s overwhelming. And if Kyungsoo notices (and he definitely notices, with the way he simply hugs Jongin for a few seconds so the younger can relax against his shoulders) how Jongin is, almost, overreacting he makes no comment.

“You want that?”

There’s really no room for hesitation, or at least, Jongin knows he won’t answer anything that negates what Kyungsoo wants. But the older leaves room for a no, he waits patiently for Jongin to calm down, makes him look at those dark eyes that have him shaking. There’s doubt in his voice, like he doesn’t know how much Jongin is wishing to do, like he doesn’t have him writhing and panting above him. Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin can do nothing but comply.

“Yes”

He doesn't know how Kyungsoo had managed to untangle himself from Jongin’s embrace. But he finds himself sitting in an enormous bathtub, bubbles and a subtle smell of vanilla all around him. His muscles feel like they are sighing in relief, contracting and relaxing under the warm water. The whole bathroom is spacious, probably bigger than the excuse for an apartment that Jongin has gotten used to call home. It’s entirely too clean, with no trace of human life other than the uncapped body washes and the toothbrush near the sink. It makes Jongin want to laugh at the situation. Want to laugh at the fact that his one-night stand, a simple hook up, is making him clean himself. He wants to laugh at how happy laying in a bathtub makes him feel. Want to laugh at the domesticity of it all. Wants to laugh at the guilty feeling turning in his gut. Wants to laugh at how stupid this is.

But he can’t.

Because he can’t remember the last time he felt like this. Taken care of, looked out for. Can’t recall the last time someone wanted to touch his body in order to satisfy him, not themselves. Hell, he doesn’t even know if there had ever been a time when someone asked him anything before getting him in a bed, other than if he was ok with whatever they wanted to do with his body. But Kyungsoo had asked. Had wondered. And once again Jongin feels like laughing, and then crying, crying because it shouldn’t make him feel this loved. Unconsciously, Kyungsoo had nurtured Jongin’s fantasy of being loved, and it makes his heart twist and his brain freeze. Later on, he’ll blame the alcohol, but right now, the feelings taking over him are nothing bus his.

Once again, how he ended up naked, hair still dripping wet, on Kyungsoo’s bed is a mystery. But the older is slowly kissing every inch of his skin, and their size difference is obvious yet again. But Jongin has no time to actually feel out of place with Kyungsoo mouthing at his nipples, tongue slowly tracing a nub while his other works wonder on the other nub. Jongin closes his eyes and turns his head, cheek colliding with the soft pillow.

“Did you like the bath?”

Kyungsoo asks, his hands are moving up and down Jongin’s sides, sending shivers all over his skin. The towel he had put on is now completely open, letting the older’s t-shirt rub against Jongin’s more than obvious hard-on. Kyungsoo is staring at his face, he can feel the stare even behind his closed eyelids. There’s a kiss on his temple that makes him willing to see again. Kyungsoo is looking at his eyes, and it makes Jongin whimper slightly, but it’s also the hand now slowly circling his cock that might have created that sound.

“Answer me Jongin”

"Ah-yes"

It was hard, his throat feeling like cotton and his mouth dry. But it was also easy, simply telling the truth. Because he had liked the bath, probably too much. Has loved how it left his skin feeling soft and tender, how it made all the roughness of his hands disappear. Loved how the lotion smelled like lavender and had small pieces of glitter that he is sure Kyungsoo can see shinning under the light from the bed table lamp.

The other smiles and kisses him. His lips now feel even softer against Jongin’s, they no longer taste of the bitter drink they had taken in the club. But instead, there’s a lingering sweetness that reminds Jongin of chocolate and caramel. He sighs, opening his mouth just so his tongue can trace the other’s, getting more of that amazing taste. He recalls how his previous kisses had tasted, most of alcohol and other substances he doesn’t wish to know. There’s a shudder that comes from deep inside when Kyungsoo does something with his tongue, it leaves Jongin out of breath. He can’t remember when he closed his eyes, but for the first time he wishes to see the person right in front of him. Does not want to miss a thing, so he opens them just as Kyungsoo stops the kiss, hands cupping Jongin’s face.

There’s that fondness in Kyungsoo’s eyes yet again. It makes his blood tingle and his heart shake against his ribs. But he can’t stare at them for long, since the hold on his cock tightens, the other’s hands moving up and down and providing Jongin of delicious friction. He bares his neck, head falling against the pillows and back arching. Kyungsoo begins his kissing once again, plump lips moving down his body, his hand still providing the friction that has Jongin moving dangerously close to the edge.

Suddenly, there are fingers tracing his entrance, simply touching the puckered hole with care. Jongin moans. But the older does nothing but chuckle, fingers still touching the sensitive rim.

“Can I eat you out?”

It’s said in a whisper, breath warm and hot that makes him shudder. Jongin nods desperately and grabs his own legs, pulling them against his chest with his hands behind his knee. Kyungsoo sits on his toes, biting his lip as he stares at the picture in front of him. Jongin can’t imagine how he looks like, and he would feel embarrassed if he still had an ounce of shame in his body, but he has none. So he only whines for Kyungsoo to get on with it.

The older’s hands are on his thighs, moving up and down and feeling the skin underneath. They move to Jongin’s ass cheeks, pushing them apart before letting them go, Jongin shudders slightly at that. Kyungsoo’s eyes are concentrated on his legs even as he positions his body, face dangerously close to where Jongin wants him. The older gives his dick a few careful laps, letting the pre-cum linger on his tongue before lapping it up. It’s unexpected and makes Jongin shake from pleasure, head rolling back, but he still holds his legs open. Then Kyungsoo is moving down and down, leaving wet kisses from the top of his head, to his shaft, fondling slightly with his balls and kissing his perineum. Jongin is holding his breath at this point, barely letting any sound out, pure anticipation flooding his senses. The older stops right at Jongin’s hole, hot breath ghosting over it and making his skin arise with shudders.

“You smell of vanilla”

Jongin’s laugh gets cut off with a moan because, immediately after, Kyungsoo is lapping and sucking at his hole, savoring it as if it was the most delicious thing he has ever tasted. Jongin can’t do nothing but moan, every movement of the older’s tongue against his rim making him weak and incoherent. He let’s go of his legs and Kyungsoo grabs him by the hips, sitting on his own legs and pulling Jongin with him. He is glad for what little elasticity he has left from when he used to dance, because Kyungsoo has him bend in half almost. Whimpers keep falling from his mouth, followed by loud wails and moans every time Kyungsoo does something that makes him crazy.

“Shit-do that again”

He normally doesn’t ask, just takes and delivers. But there is something about the way Kyungsoo is now fully tongue fucking him that makes him want to be vocal, makes him want to let the older know just what he wants. Kyungsoo hums and does just what Jongin asked him, lapping against his rim and trying to get his tongue deeper. Jongin moves one of his hands to run over Kyungsoo’s scalp, shaved hair rough under his fingertips, the other is grabbing his thigh tightly, bring covered by Kyungsoo’s own.

The older separates himself with one last kiss against the fluttering rim. His lips are red and he has drool all over his chin, face flushed beyond recognition. It should be disgusting, Jongin thinks, but his dick throbs at the image and he can do nothing but find the soft smile that Kyungsoo directs towards him endearing.

“You are extremely pretty”

“Thanks”

And is breathless, said in a gasp, but Kyungsoo smile widens and Jongin finds himself smiling back, despite the ache he can feel in his back for being in this position. He closes his eyes again as the older finally put his whole body on top of the mattress, one arm covering his eyes as the other is still tightly holding on to Kyungsoo’s.

“I’ll get the lube”

Kyungsoo disappears and Jongin wants to whine, squirm, shout for him to come back, but the bed moves and the older’s presence is back on top of him. Jongin hadn’t been aware of the fact that the older had been fully clothed this whole time, the thought almost irritating him.

“Take it off”

Kyungsoo looks startled for a second, as if he had forgotten he was wearing clothes altogether, but chuckles at the evident need that soaks Jongins movements.

“Alright”

He moves to take off his shirt, and Jongin feels like the air has been forcefully punched out of him. Uncovering a nicely shaped chest that has Jongin’s mouth slightly water. He can’t help but run his hands up and down the soft skin in front of him, and he even let’s himself smile when he touches Kyungsoo’s nipples softly, hearing the other gasp at the sensation.

“Enjoying the view?”

“More than anything”

Kyungsoo moves his hands to circle Jongin’s, pulling them above the youngers head, trapping him before kissing once again. Jongin grinds up and smiles pleased once again when he hears the moan he gets as both their crotches collide, Jongin’s naked form grinding against Kyungsoo’s clothed one. They do that for a while, and it’s oddly comfortable, Kyungsoo having shredded his pants. Skin against skin, nothing to hide between them.

The first finger is always uncomfortable, but not unwelcomed. Anticipation soaks every fiber in his body, and Jongin does his best at relaxing, at enjoying the way Kyungsoo carefully traces his inner walls, searching for that bundle of nerves that Jongin has come to be familiar with. The feeling is still almost too much, the first touch against his prostate making him squirm and beg for more. It’s amazing just how much Kyungsoo obeys, responding with fervor to every single petition Jongin makes. Thrusting his fingers harder when he asks, deeper when he wants, out when he says he is ready. Rolling on a condom and slowly entering him just when Jongin is about to beg for him to do so.

The first thrusts are careful, nothing like what Jongin is used to. And it makes him realize just how different this one-night stand is being. Jongin fears that Kyungsoo ruined sex for him, because nothing has ever felt like this. And he guesses one of the reasons behind that is that he doesn’t have to imagine. Doesn’t have to imagine that the sharp movements are loving ones, because the way Kyungsoo drags his cock inside of Jongin is nothing but caring, loving. Doesn’t have to imagine that there are hands cupping his face and whispering sweet nothings against his ear, because he can feel them the second he moves his hands to his face, because Kyungsoo’s sweet voice keeps touching his ears, between moans and gasps. Doesn’t have to wish for a kiss when he comes, because Kyungsoo is right there, plump red and kiss bitten lips melting against his owns.

“Fuck-you look so good”

Jongin moans at the praise, every hair on his body standing up. The thrust get harder, messier. Kyungsoo puts his legs over his chest once again, settling an almost brutal pace. The older’s hands are grabbing his thighs just below the inside of his knee, and Jongin can almost feel the bruises that are surely going to be left there once this all ends. Kyungsoo angles his thrust differently and now he is hitting his prostate every few, and the sensation is amazing. Jongin claws at his back while Kyungsoo kisses him, pace stuttering when they concentrate too much on moving their tongues against each other, but going back to being brutal once they separate.

For the first time, Jongin does not need to imagine being loved, because he is being loved. But it’s also a reminder of how alone Kyungsoo is, maybe as much as he feels. It makes Jongin hug him tighter, pull him closer. Makes him moan hoarsely at every change of position, makes him touch Kyungsoo wherever he can reach. For a second he feels like they are both the same. Two lonely people, on a Friday night, searching for anything that could be close to being called love. Even if it’s at the hands of a stranger. They come with a moan. First Kyungsoo and Jongin following closely after. The thrust come to a slow spot, when both of them are too oversensitive to go on. Kyungsoo pulls out with a kiss on Jongin’s sweaty forehead, while he feels boneless and relaxed under the older’s touch.

They let the fantasy live for a little longer, showering together and melting under each other's hands. Jongin says nothing when they slip back to bed, and Kyungsoo neither. It feels like they both know; the fantasy has died.

The street is silent outside the room, despite from the occasional car that passes unnoticed. The stars shining brightly over them, hidden behind the startling lights of the city. It's a harsh reality to come to. When you realize that the time keeps counting, that the minutes keep passing. Jongin picks up his clothes that he can't even remember taking off, putting them on slowly, as if by doing so the fantasy will come back to life, as if he could feel the fake love of Kyungsoo's again just by slowly pulling up his pants. He sits on the bed, the stranger who most likely made him feel alive for the first time in forever breathing steadily, asleep. He wants to laugh again at what his life has come to, because he doesn't want to leave. Wants to stay forever inside of that bed. But Kyungsoo is nothing but a stranger, someone who picked him up at the bar. Nothing but a good experience to share with the covers of his bed at night, hen he remembers the last time he felt loved. He stands up, the aching on his hips and heart too familiar, and moves to leave.

Jongin is about to close the door when he hears it, a soft and sleepy voice, a whisper that is going to get lost in the cold wind of the night.

“You didn’t tell me why you were alone”

He can't pretend he doesn’t hear it, can't pretend his heart doesn’t clench at the sound of those raspy words. He turns back slightly to look at the other man, lying naked on his bed, and smiles softly at him. He doesn't have the time to tell Kyungsoo if he fulfilled his promise, doesn't have the heart to stay any longer.

"Maybe another time, Do Kyungsoo"

Is a promise he shouldn't make, but no one is there to stop him. He closes the door.

He steps into the familiar path of his apartment once again, after finding his way around the city, the night sky as his lone companion.

The street lights are no longer shinning above him when he gets home, the dark having melted away, taking everything that had happened with the stars and the moon.

Do Kyungsoo and his nice and warm house are left as nothing but a small taste of what love is.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that!
> 
> It's a mess! I know! Horrible! Makes no sense! But is the only way I have to cope!
> 
> Comments and criticism are well received, give me your thoughts and opinions! (pls even if it's to say hello, I love reading comments, inflates my ego)
> 
> PR


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